Lately I’ve been deep in thought about this whole motherhood thing. I’m 5 and a half years into it. With a new year comes new focus. Everyone is trying to figure out how they themselves can be better and how they can better others. At least I like to think the latter happens for most people.

A few weeks back I read a post over on Momestary.com blog. The woman completely filled the page of her blog post on Jan 6 with what was in my heart on that day. You can check out her post here: http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/

I’d like to say that I love everything about motherhood. It’s all I ever wanted since I was 4 years old. But its not always pretty. Which brings me to the realization that often what I’m going through or the “secret” feelings I have in my days about parenting, well, simply I cannot be alone. There are other moms and parents thinking and feeling the same thing. There are fathers who come home from work and feel the same way that my husband says he feels. Smothered. Like he was never given a chance to come up for air. After 5 minutes of being home the other night he turned to me and said, “Welp, I’m done after 5 mins. You’ve had em for 9 hours by yourself. You think you can take it from here?” He was completely joking. He knows that I would have thrown the nearest heavy object at him if he wasn’t. (We don’t really throw things at each other people!)

I later in that same week found this blog post over on the gypsymama.com. Check it out here: http://thegypsymama.com/2011/10/for-the-days-when-you-want-to-quit-motherhood/ Proof that I am NOT alone! And proof that if you too have these feelings at times, You aren’t alone either!

My husband and I have had many conversations about parenting. We believe that there is parenting from mountain tops and parenting from within the forest. Currently, we are in the phase where we are deep in the forest. In fact, we are staring at 3 trees extremely close. Sometimes too close.  It’s hard to see around these trees that are in front of us at times. Sometimes its hard to breathe.  I know that I am not alone in this feeling.

I love that the current church is strategizing and learning how to come alongside of families and parents and partner with them in the raising of the next generation. But I cannot shake that perhaps there is something missing in directly encouraging  and impacting parents. They need to know that they are not alone. That they can do this! That like all things in parenting, everything is a phase, and whatever awful thing your kids are doing that you think they will never stop doing, will pass. Sometimes I wish the church would also realize that parents have a one up in the world of reaching other parents before the church does.I have found that parenting is an automatic common ground with another parent whether I know them well or not.

Sometimes parents just need to be told that their doing a good job. They need to hear “You’ve got this thing.” I don’t’ care if you’re a churched family or not, all parents need to hear that they are not alone and that they are doing a great job. They need to hear that as a family unit, God has great big plans.  I wish I could bathe parents in peace and rest.

Much like running a race or playing a sport, cheering fans can be game changers. Not to mention that being one of those cheering fans is almost as equally rewarding as being one of the players on the field. You begin to take on an ownership. A team commrodary. I’ve often heard runners say that they heard someone cheering from the sidelines just when they were about to throw in the towel and they got a big push to finish because of that cheering fan. It’s like everything comes into focus and the Why in what we do as a parent becomes clear again.

So if you see a mom or dad that is struggling or they have that look like “I just want to tie my kid to a chair and return when they are asleep,” give em’ a pat on the back. Even if they look like they’ve got it under control, tell them their doing a great job. Find the common ground. Every parent wants to succeed. Become a cheering fan for parents and I’m pretty sure that its a small step in the right direction of changing the game of great parents that produce some great kids. Great Families! Go ahead. I dare all those that are parents to invest in the next generation (your kids and your kids kids!) by investing in the next generations parents.

Go team Parents! You got this thang!

10pm rolled around last night and my brain came up with this! I really do have deeper thoughts than grapes and cheese, I promise.

Cute, right?! These were my test grapes so please ignore their ugliness.These are super easy, tasty and healthy. Winning! To begin, cut a grape in half at an angle. Match up the angles to make a heart and put a toothpick through it.

Grab a brick of cheese and slice a piece like you would to eat. Cut that rectangular piece into 2 squares. Cut triangles out of the squares. Assemble and Wahla! I plan on making these and taking them to my sons class Valentine’s Day party in a few weeks. I think they will be a favorite.

Every day from the hours of 4pm -6pm are the toughest hours of a stay at home moms day. You may think I’m at home watching reruns of Oprah and snacking on something with my feet propped up, but no. In fact, it has to be the most creative hours of the day for a mom. The art of keeping kids content, busy, awake if they didn’t nap, happy, fed, and obedient. Ah yes, it’s a full-time job. For those of you that once had young kids or currently have young kids, you’ll be real familiar with these tough few hours. Your conversations may at times sound a lot like mine.

ME:

“No, no snack right now. Dinner will be ready in a little bit.”

“Where’s your brother?”

 ”Are you whining? “

“Stop that.”

“What’s in your mouth?”

“You’re such a sweet boy”

“Where did you find that?”

“Ewe! Yuck! We don’t eat things off of the floor.”

“Let’s play a game.”

“No, don’t fight. We can agree on something or take turns.”

“Alright, fine. We’re not playing any games since you can’t get along.”

“Where’s your brother?”

“How did you get into the bathroom?!”

“Gross. We don’t drink the toilet water!”

“Why is your sister crying?”

“What happened?”

“No. We are not playing a game because of the way you guys are acting.”

“Daddy should be home soon.”

“No, no snacks. Dinner will be ready soon.”

“Please don’t sit on your sister.”

“No. She doesn’t like it.”

“Where’s your brother?”

“Now whats in your mouth?”

“Ewe!”

“No! No snacks! Dinner will be ready soon!”

As I sit here on day five of swim classes and watch my two 4 year olds swim unassisted laps, I’m in awe. How could this happen in just 5 short lessons?! We, my family and I, have been working with them on swimming all summer. You know the classic parenting lines to beginner swimmers: “Keep your mouth closed!” “Kick, kick, kick!” “I’ve got you.You are safe” “Reach with those arms!” “Stay on the side until I get there.” “Way to go!” All great things for us parents to say. But honestly, my kids were no where near the swimmers they are now this entire summer until swim classes. Why? What was the difference? I was saying all of the right things to teach them. I was patient and encouraging. I took several splashes to the face for the sake of teaching them. I’ve come to one conclusion that has made all the difference: Ms.Jillian. Ms.Jillian is my kids swim teacher. I was a little concerned about how my kids would respond to being in a pool without the safety of mom or dad or someone they know. Man,was I wrong! Here’s the reality that stares me in my face today: Ms.Jillian has said all of the same things I have said to my kids about swimming. My kids needed someone else to show them and say the same things  before they “got it.”

Life lesson here for me as a parent: Sometimes my kids need the voice of another in their lives.

My  kids will not always hear or “get” what I am saying every time. As a parent, that’s a hard one to swallow isn’t it?! But whether Ms.Jillian knows it or not, she is in a partnership with me as a parent. She too wants my kids to know a life saving skill.  There will be things that your kids need to hear, talk through and/or be influenced on by another trusted  individual. You as the parent certainly will always have influence on your kids lives. No doubt about it. Even the worse of parents have an impact on their kids whether they know it or not.  For me, I want to set my kids up for success in the department of being able to trust another adult individual to talk through life things with, when they don’t really want to “hear” what mom and dad are saying. I want to think that my kids will always listen to me and always learn what I teach them. Sometimes though, it  takes a partnership with a Ms.Jillian and her voice in my kids lives for me to be the best parent I can be to my kids.  It’s the partnership of having the same goal in mind that makes all the difference.

Partnership: a cooperative relationship between people or groups who agree to share responsibility for achieving some specific goal

Four years ago today, 07-27-07 at exactly 1:07pm, entered the biggest surprise and one of the best blessings of my life. A baby girl, my daughter, Jenna Emerson. She graced the world with her entrance with her mighty voice blaring and it hasnt stopped yet! She was quite a surprise for us just a short 11 months after her brother arrived. Yes, that’s correct, in a 11months, 2 babies! While a lot of it is a blur, Jenna has never failed at being a consistent source of Joy. That girl is fierce when it comes to emotions. She loves greatly and the girl is all about fun and making people smile. Seriously, it’s taken me years to get this witty and funny, so she puzzles me in how natural it is for her in just 4 short years of her life. Jenna’s name means “Little Song Bird.” I prayed to God that if I had a baby girl, I wanted her to be a loud voice for Him. There couldn’t be a more fitting name. She is little, loves her some music and is vocal. Just the other day in the middle of Macy’s she randomly shouted excitedly “Hosanna!” The girl has such a innocence and trusting relationship with her Heavenly Father. She has some killer blue eyes and one of the most common comments about her is how big and how often she smiles. She is covered with the finger prints of God from head to toe! We are so glad that God gave us you, Miss Jenna! Love you baby girl to the moon and back.