Lately I’ve been deep in thought about this whole motherhood thing. I’m 5 and a half years into it. With a new year comes new focus. Everyone is trying to figure out how they themselves can be better and how they can better others. At least I like to think the latter happens for most people.
A few weeks back I read a post over on Momestary.com blog. The woman completely filled the page of her blog post on Jan 6 with what was in my heart on that day. You can check out her post here: http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/
I’d like to say that I love everything about motherhood. It’s all I ever wanted since I was 4 years old. But its not always pretty. Which brings me to the realization that often what I’m going through or the “secret” feelings I have in my days about parenting, well, simply I cannot be alone. There are other moms and parents thinking and feeling the same thing. There are fathers who come home from work and feel the same way that my husband says he feels. Smothered. Like he was never given a chance to come up for air. After 5 minutes of being home the other night he turned to me and said, “Welp, I’m done after 5 mins. You’ve had em for 9 hours by yourself. You think you can take it from here?” He was completely joking. He knows that I would have thrown the nearest heavy object at him if he wasn’t. (We don’t really throw things at each other people!)
I later in that same week found this blog post over on the gypsymama.com. Check it out here: http://thegypsymama.com/2011/10/for-the-days-when-you-want-to-quit-motherhood/ Proof that I am NOT alone! And proof that if you too have these feelings at times, You aren’t alone either!
My husband and I have had many conversations about parenting. We believe that there is parenting from mountain tops and parenting from within the forest. Currently, we are in the phase where we are deep in the forest. In fact, we are staring at 3 trees extremely close. Sometimes too close. It’s hard to see around these trees that are in front of us at times. Sometimes its hard to breathe. I know that I am not alone in this feeling.
I love that the current church is strategizing and learning how to come alongside of families and parents and partner with them in the raising of the next generation. But I cannot shake that perhaps there is something missing in directly encouraging and impacting parents. They need to know that they are not alone. That they can do this! That like all things in parenting, everything is a phase, and whatever awful thing your kids are doing that you think they will never stop doing, will pass. Sometimes I wish the church would also realize that parents have a one up in the world of reaching other parents before the church does.I have found that parenting is an automatic common ground with another parent whether I know them well or not.
Sometimes parents just need to be told that their doing a good job. They need to hear “You’ve got this thing.” I don’t’ care if you’re a churched family or not, all parents need to hear that they are not alone and that they are doing a great job. They need to hear that as a family unit, God has great big plans. I wish I could bathe parents in peace and rest.
Much like running a race or playing a sport, cheering fans can be game changers. Not to mention that being one of those cheering fans is almost as equally rewarding as being one of the players on the field. You begin to take on an ownership. A team commrodary. I’ve often heard runners say that they heard someone cheering from the sidelines just when they were about to throw in the towel and they got a big push to finish because of that cheering fan. It’s like everything comes into focus and the Why in what we do as a parent becomes clear again.
So if you see a mom or dad that is struggling or they have that look like “I just want to tie my kid to a chair and return when they are asleep,” give em’ a pat on the back. Even if they look like they’ve got it under control, tell them their doing a great job. Find the common ground. Every parent wants to succeed. Become a cheering fan for parents and I’m pretty sure that its a small step in the right direction of changing the game of great parents that produce some great kids. Great Families! Go ahead. I dare all those that are parents to invest in the next generation (your kids and your kids kids!) by investing in the next generations parents.
Go team Parents! You got this thang!